"Rock Paper Scissors"

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• CdM: Handmade paper with "a pem" written on it
• The Unknown Anorak: The bit of broken glass that you're sure you can pick up without lacerating your hand
• Kevan: That seaweed-covered rock that you're sure you can step onto without slipping awkwardly into a rock pool.
• TFMA: ACME Supagrip(tm) All-Terrain Sandals, incorporating Gluesole2000(tm) technology
• Watty: One (1) standard size shoe box
• matt: The Subtle Knife
• Kevan: The Unsubtle Housebrick.
• jim: The Really Unsubtle Letter From The Bank [matt] Wow. I was forcibly lent those books by Pip's mum. They were great.
• TFMA: The quite astonishingly unsubtle Molotov Cocktail
• _tim_: A Rhesus-negative Bloody Mary should wash that down nicely...
• PaulWay: The Rock of Gibraltar
• The Unknown Anorak: A sharpened credit card used by bikers to cut off the heads of yuppies in Porsches
• Joe : Flour and Lemons
• Riana: Baking soda and vinegar mixed together inside a papier-mâché volcano.
• Dan: You'd be hard-pressed to find anything more rocklike than A fruitcake that relatives have been re-sending to each other for Christmas for several generations.
• Gramit: Colourful holiday gift paper to wrap the eternal fruitcake for the next victim.
• Norma: A Scimitar
• matt: A stick of mint candy with the words GREETINGS FROM WESTON-SUPER-MARE ingeniously imprinted throughout its length.
• Riana: An incontinent Chihuahua. [matt] Dumb American Question: Why isn't it just called Weston-on-Sea? Super-Mare, my gluteus maximus.
• Rich: A chainsaw
• CdM: A photograph of a rock that gives you a paper cut.
• The Unknown Anorak: The look an engineer gives you when you ask 'so I press this button, do I?'
• Norma: The moon
• Gramit: An American Flag with a wire in it to keep it up on the airless moon surface.
• PaulWay: Nuclear Fission
• Kevan: A big lump of lead.
• Kightlinger: OK, I think I understand this game. A copy of United States Code of Federal Regulations Volume 24, Part 35, Revised Federal Regulations on Lead and Lead Poisoning.
• Gramit: A presidential Line-item veto [non-US residents] You don't want to know about this...
• Dan: A very fine high-pressure stream of water containing abrasive particles
• The Unknown Anorak: An extremely dense charcoal filter
• matt: The Skegness and Mablethorpe Crowstoning Guild
• Norma: A Combine
• PaulWay: A Combine Harvester
• Mouse: A three kilometre long fence of barbed wire should stop that in its tracks.
• The Unknown Anorak: Well, Cousin Jethro's Arm never did.
• PaulWay: Bessy-Jane Armitage from the next farm
• matt: A rusty hacksaw blade
• The Unknown Anorak: A Shotgun, special marriage edition.
• Kevan: Batfink's wings.
• Riana: A boatful of Vikings. [TUA] I was at a party in an apartment complex the other weekend; we had the sliding glass door open, looking out on the communal recreation area. Some guy came up to us and asked if we'd seen a woman in a bridal gown go by. We all wondered where he was hiding the shotgun. How you lose someone in heels and 12 yards of white satin, I don't know.
• The Unknown Anorak: [Riana] I think five years of marriage does it for most people.
• Blob: A compass as this entire game seems to have lost its way !
• Kevan: A pockmarked school desk.
• Gramit: A Pocket Knife, of course.
• Riana: The natural but in some cases devastating process of oxidisation
• CdM: A classroom-wall-sized copy of the Periodic Table
• Kevan: A black marker pen and a schoolboy's sense of humour.
• The Unknown Anorak: A snide remark from the young, groovy Maths teacher that all the girls fancy
• matt: The London Stone
• Norma: Wax paper
• CdM: A granite sculpture of a Sabatier knives catalogue
• Kevan: A photograph of a diamond.
• Kightlinger: The razor sharp fingernails of your girlfriend after she brings up the topic of marriage and you give her a photograph of a diamond, thinking you're being funny.
• CdM: The wall you duck behind to avoid the razor sharp fingernails of your girlfriend after she brings up the topic of marriage and you give her a photograph of a diamond, thinking you're being funny.
• Riana: A Panzer tank, with instruments even someone with one-inch nails can handle. So there's a quandary... if diamonds are forever, but you "take a picture, it'll last longer," what happens to a picture of a diamond?
• The Unknown Anorak: [Riana] It lasts beyond the end of time but you can't see it because your girlfriend's scratched your eyes out.
  A shield made from photographs of diamonds. God I hope this works...
• Riana: [TUA] Evidently it did :)
• Mouse: The latest version of Photoshop.
• matt: Well that about wraps it up for God by Oolon Colluphid
• Norma: A straight razor
• Kevan: A single hair. (Your outdated one-blade razors are no match for human facial hair! Don't you watch adverts?)
• Riana: Male pattern baldness disregarding the face-specific nature of the above
• The Unknown Anorak: Mixing up Rogaine and Viagra - hair as strong as a rock, but you don't want to know what's happening in the underpant area.
• matt: A Tissue of Lies
• Kevan: The Sword of Truth.
• JLE: Mohamed Al-Fayed
• Mouse: Frances Shand-Kidd
• Mouse: God, this is so embarrassing. No follow-up after a week! Didn't anyone else come across articles in several tacky rags about Frances Shand-Kidd having a go at Al-Fayed and taking a public stand against his theory that Dodi Al-Fayed and HRH Princess of Wales were deliberately killed? I tell you (bank accounts aside), Frances definitely r
• Mouse: rules!
• Yer Mom: Well, I didn't... :)
• matt: St Peter
• The Unknown Anorak: Paper Mario
• Riana: A power surge.
• Norma: A tombstone
• Kevan: A mechanical digger.
• Riana: A petrol outage!
• The Unknown Anorak: A Paper Tiger by the name of T. Blair
• CdM: Power cuts
• matt: A Blockhead by the name of W. Hague
• Blob: Scissors
• Hugo Rune: A lump hammer
• Riana: Termites
• JLE: A lump hammer, again. Which one wins depends on who's doing the attacking...
• Dan: A lead sword, of the sort that the Emperor Commodus used to give his opponents when he played at being a gladiator.
• Pickhandle: A candlestick, which is invaluable when playing I'm Sorry I Haven't A Cluedo.
• Riana: Obscure reference alert David Devant's brain forgetting the words to "Ballroom."
• Kevan: A game of charades.
• The Unknown Anorak: Tim Curry in Clue!. One of his finest performances, IMHO.
• Riana: [TUA] Seen "Pass the Ammo"? [Kevan] *grins*
• matt: The Black Spot
• Kevan: Tipp-Ex.
• Blob: Rock Am I the only one playing this game properly ?
• Riana: "Lite" rock stations [Blob] Yes.
• Yer Mom: A spring-loaded death vagina Definitely the waterproof, by the looks of things...
• Norma: A marble dildo I was just leaving...
• matt: An extra-large liquorice-flavoured leopardskin novelty condom
• Blob: match (determined to bring a little order to this chaos !!!)
• Kevan: A bucket of cold water.
• JLE: I reckon that beats the last five entries hands down. A bucket, however, can be kicked, therefore a size 17 boot.
• Dan: That thankfully-forgotten manifestation of wartime austerity: the neighbourhood smegma collection bin.

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