"Practical Jokes For Executioners"

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• st d: Parachute them into an Iraqi presidential palace in full GI battle dress loaded with ammo
• st d: (..oh, and film it with a hidden camera in the guys hat - you could turn this one into prime time TV)
• Phil: Show the victim the 6 guys in the firing squad, only one with live ammo. Then blindfold him and fire 6 shots in turn into the air. Wait 20 seconds and then shoot him.
• Dunx: Place the electric chair on a podium in a shark tank, and make the prisoner walk alone over the very-obviously-hinged bridge.
• Inkspot: "Been sent for a beheadin' eh mate, you'll never guess what, but you've gone and caught me on the hop, it being Monday and all that my axe is away being sharpened, the last one took five swings, I'll use me standby OK? Keep your neck stiff and the bow saw will soon be through ... so if you'll just step up to the block"
• Ragadozo: Lethal punchline... injection with Sodium Pentathol and wake up in dark morgue drawers... then a voice says... "cold in 'ere innit?"
• st dogmael: Have Damien Hirst present, with a chainsaw and a couple of big fish-takns full of formaldehyde. Discuss in front of prisoner the best way of killing prisoner for preservation of the corpse, then have Damien ask prisoner a few questions about his life and crimes. Offer him a few choices of title for the finished work.
• Dunx: Offer to seal the prisoner in carbonite.
• Raak: "Günther von Hagens is interested in doing a live televised autopsy. Game for it? Fine, just sign here. It's being recorded for the Japanese market. No, 'live autopsy' doesn't mean what you thought it meant..."
• Dunx: Place the guillotine inside a bouncy castle.
• DeeJay: Invite the prisoner to pay for his execution using his credit card, explaining that if he is not totally happy with the service provided he will have 28 days in which to claim a refund.
• Breadmaster: You could have a trick guillotine like conjurors use, except that instead of chopping a marrow in two and leaving the victim unscathed... you get the idea.
• DrQu+xum: I once read this in some Usenet group, except it was for decapitating gophers or something. Instead of a basket, put a vat of liquid nitrogen under the guillotine. Afterwards, carefully remove the head from the vat with a pair of ice tongs...so you can see the look on the executed's face at the moment he was killed.
• Dunx: Place the electric chair on a podium in a shark tank as before, but this time the tank contains sea bass with head mounted lasers.
• Dunx: Hmm... I wonder what other professions might enjoy the occasional practical joke...
• Simons Mith: Bus Drivers?
• Lib: Doctors, they have to be cruel to be kind....... And laughter is the best medicine!
• ImNotJohn: As in "You don't mind if I just delete your records now to save time?"
• Simons Mith: [Doctors] Too close to executioners IMO.
• Dunx: How about clowns? Fill custard pie with yellow paint rather than custard.
• Raak: [Dunx] How could you tell? What about Technical Support? Whenever you fix something, break something else in a way that will only show up after a few days.
• Elizian: [Raak] Too close to the truth ... Signed: BOFH
• Lib: prank phone calls from call centres? But then again they never phone for any genuine or interesting reason, so that's a non-starter too!
• DrQu+xum: I'd rather not do the Tech Support bit...I do that for a living and don't want to give away any trade secrets... :)
• penelope: Caterer's practical jokes?
  Like filling the tomato ketchup bottles with chilli sauce :o)
• Raak: I think that just about exhausts the catering theme. Politicians? Publish the party manifesto on April 1.
• st d: how about simply : Publish a Manifesto ?
• Phoebe: Make one true statement. Ok, I know it's a genetic impossibilty, but imagine the shock if it happened!
• DrQu+xum: I like Politicians' Practical Jokes. Actually count all the ballots in Dade County, Florida
• Dujon: Declare that an election will be on the basis of 'first past the post' and then put each contender in harness.
• DrQu+xum: Attach a piece of legislation to a guaranteed-to-pass bill that will allow you to commit polygamy in your constituency. (Hey, it worked in Utah!)
• DeeJay: Hangman says to prisoner at gallows "Good news mate. Your reprieve has just come through, you're free to go." Starts to untie noose, but accidently leans against lever. "Oh bugger!"
• Breadmaster: I would make extravagant promises before the election, and then after being elected simply deny that I had made them, even when presented with documentary and video evidence. "That's not me!"
• z: Round and round the garden, like a teddy bear...
• Ibid: When an interviewer asks a question, give a straight answer, just to see the look of surprise on their face.
• DrQu+xum: Answer every question in Prescott-mode.

  And what would monsieur like from ze dessert cart?
  Well, as my friends know, and you'll find that the Maitre'd totally agrees with me on this, that your chocolate éclair is, and I make no apologies for this, extremely fattening but, and I mean this in a very positive fashion, absolutely delicious....
  

• Breadmaster: [DrQ] Wonderful... but you made far too much sense...
• Simons Mith: I think that this game lots its oomph when we tried to switch from Executioners to others. So, BANG!

• Simons Mith (Winner's Comments): There, it never felt a thing.

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