"Get your fingers out of my soup!"

Bottom of page  

Awright, look lively you lot. 'Atchet 'Arry's given us till next Sunday to get to Mornington Crescent and we need a plan. So let's all sit down, pour an aristotle of the most ping-pong tiddly in the motor and 'ave a butchers at the map. I reckon you can play or comment in slang, or both, or neiver, or all three. A few blondes... Knives are good, because they don't make any noise. Bren guns are alright, but you don't wanna use 'em in confined spaces. And if you have the slightest suspicion that you're being fucked, get the rifle out sharpish.
So, if you have a better way of getting to MC than Cripplehead's third oblique twisting strile under Friday evening rules, let us know.

• The Untire PalmpilotsystemOSextension: Acton. And if you 'ave a better idea how to get to MC in a week, let us know...
• gil: Emmm.... I thought it was supposed to be a Rhyming Slang thingy as in.. Thievin' Ealing Theivin' & Stealing
• Raak: So, how does that work. Does someone say, for example, "A right Elephant & Castle", and people have to guess what it means? ("hassle")
• Dan: An 'arf-royal ("royal mile" = strile) to Bow Road.
  [Charlie] Er, I 'ave a question. Now that we lost the two Jags and the Aston, 'ow are we gonna get 'ome?
• Charlie Croker: Never you mind. You just be there by 9 and don't get stuck in the traffic jam, neiver.
• Phil "Dandy" Smythe: Sorry, Charles.
• Le Managuer d'Usine de Glue: Qui est Charlie Croker?
• Vicious Sid: Right, yerrall a total bleedin' shambles! You, bugg'roff back en Francais, everyone else, I'll meetcha at Royal Pigner. Comprendez?
• Phil: "You're only supposed to blow the bloody Heathrow Terminal 4s off!"
• The Unknown Anorak: We wanner decide what getaway car we wanna be using. Convention says a Jag or a big Ford, but I reckon we'd definitely be better off using a BMW. Probably a 5. I like the swift performace and comfortable leather seats. And there's plenty of space in the boot for all our ill-gotten gains. Or we could go for the touring for more space but no handling penalty.
• Swez: "Don't point, that Leicester Square, at me!"
• Fat German: Anyone else points a gun at me and I'll remove their Wood Green wiv a blunt instrument. Allright?
• Dan: Little bit of Rayner's Lane never hurt anybody. If you know what I mean. Also, I think knives are a good idea. Big fuck off shiny ones. Guns for show, knives for a pro.
• Rich: Ahhhh... fuck the lot a yaz. Ya bastards. New Cross Gate with a broken Newcastle Brown Bottle.
• The Unknown Anorak: Fucking Northern Crosskeys!
• Swez: Nudge nudge, wink wink... say Stanmore
• PaulWay: Using the Bacons ("Bacon & Eggs" = Legs) to 'op it quick to Watford. Why? Beat's me.
• The Unknown Anorak: Now everybody stay calm. Get up this end of the bus. And whatever you do, don't say Mornington Crescent. Oh shit.

• The Unknown Anorak (Winner's Comments): No-one had played in it for a week. Sorry, it was probably a silly idea in the first place. I take full responsibility.
• Dan: Right. I'll do you for that, sunshine.
• Mr Bridger: I think we should arrange a funeral. And I want Anorak given a good going-over.
• gil: I wish I'd figured out earlier that it was The Italian Job.
• Mr Wild Pants: It could have been worse. It could have been The Belgian Job, a film abot illegal chocolate and flat landscapes.

Previous: Huntingdon Crescent   Home   Next: Pro-Celebrity MC